Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sydney & Goldcoast Vacay, Week 1

So. I've been here a week. Let's start with some of my thoughts, in brief, about what I think my trip has been so far:

Sun is scorching.
Breezes are freezing.
In the first few days, it was so cold it felt like I was in Cameron Highlands - but dressed for Langkawi.
The subsequent doctor's consultation fee to treat my cough & cold was 60 Aussie Dollars. The nasal spray and anti-biotics prescription from the chemist an additional 80 Aussie Dollars.
Travel insurance is fantastic to cover that. If you have it. Which I don't. Bugger.

Pubs are strange.
Babies and children play at your feet.
They're smoke free! Rather, smoke was probably at liberty once but has now been arrested by unbribable Aussie cops on horses.
The same Aussie cops have also arrested the white person's ability to dance. Dance clubs are mostly dance-free, cool (as in the temperature) and with breathable air.
Parking is far from free. About 3 Aussie dollars for 1 hour in the parking meter.
Cover charge is about 15 Aussie dollars and you get one free nothing. You just get to go inside.
Strip club covercharge is also about 15 Aussie dollars. WHEE. I am going to one tonight!

I am smoking far fewer cigarettes.
Arse-freezing weather cools the inclination to step outside for a quick fag.
Killer high-heels that are holding your toes for ransom also make it hard to walk outside 'again'.

No one here has heard of Salem cigarettes!
Milo is sold in the old-school style - granules in tins. No 3-in-1 options.
Condensed milk appears to be a myth.
"Servings are Western sized. You can only eat half their portion" is also a myth. I seem able to consume all my food. HAH.
Chu-char, Thai food and Indian food are prepared as individual servings with appetizers & entrees. Be warned... Tom Yam soup is not a soup to be shared. It is YOUR MEAL.

A bottle shop does not equal a 'botoi' shop.
Chinese uncle-loids and aunty-septics have adopted a very strange combination of Chinglish + Aussie accents.
Not all Chinese people are in fact, Chinese. Some of them are Japanese. haha.

Mornings are bacon & egg filled moments of sin.
Satay is twice the size for quadruple the price.
Thai lemon chicken tastes like chicken satay.
Bread slices are twice as thick.
Bacon rashers are twice as big.
My weight is now twice as much than when I first arrived.

Surfer boys aren't really 'rawr' worthy.
Good looking white chicks tend to mostly look like Nicole Kidman from afar.
Flat chested Chinese chicks are almost nil.
Clothes have bust sizes that are too big for my bust. Whee.

Strange boys in Casinos will hug you on a whim... provided you're a girl apparently on your own.
Betting 25 Aussie on blackjack doesn't feel as bad as betting RM50 in Genting.
Losing 100 Aussie dollars doesn't feel so bad if you've been gambling from 12am till 5am in a Casino, with a steady flow of Vodka Orange & cute croupiers.
The Chinese aunties crowded around gaming tables are conspicuously missing.
Mahjong hasn't made it to Aussie casinos yet either. lol.
Findi**s are annoying, no matter where you find them.

Oscillating devices aka 'fans' are not a standard home fixture.
Hoses next to the toilet, with which to wash your arse after a massive alcohol induced shart, are ALSO not a standard home fixture. >.<

Slow walking people abound.
Patient drivers who will stop for pedestrians to cross roads also abound.
I fear for my safety when I am eventually let back into the wilds of Penang traffic. I may actually try to use a zebra crossing and realise my error when I become jam on the asphalt.
Now I understand Daniel's tendency to walk in the middle of the road as though he were invincible or Findi**. Over here, pedestrians seem to have equal rights.
The only motorcycles I see on the roads are superbikes.

Over and out, for now.