Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What it means to be a free spirit.

I have often been called a free spirit and each time I have wondered upon its meaning. Sometimes it is said with a grimace and a frown, sometimes with wonder and curiosity, sometimes with approval and appreciation.

Questioning the person further, I am usually given explanations that vary from ‘happy go-lucky’ or ‘irresponsible’ to ‘liberated’ or ‘flower child’, and more.

What I do know for sure is that these people are not comparing me with “a shot of Chivas, served on the house”, no matter how much I would prefer being objectified as something that warms the body and bolsters a flagging spirit.

free spirit
n. One who is not restrained, as by convention or obligation; a nonconformist.
n. A person with a highly individual or unique attitude, lifestyle or imagination.

How would you like your Chivas served?
“You are a free spirit” is just a statement. Depending on how we want to swallow it, it can go down bitter or sweet.

In the Malaysian context – Asian values and general ‘conformity’ - would be the Coca-Cola mixer for my Chivas.

The Coca-Cola Treatment…
Applying the Coca-Cola treatment against personal preference can be similarly equated to:
  • People marrying ‘pilihan keluarga’ despite being in love with someone else
  • People not being allowed to marry outside the race
  • Males being pushed into marriage to continue the family name
Which is all well and good if Coke was what you wanted in the first place.

The Coconut Juice Treatment…
And how many of you know someone who has understood all the wants and pressures of family & society – but chose to do the least popular thing anyway?

Either Way, You Mix It, You Drink It
Finally, how many are ALWAYS happy with their choices either way – and have no regrets? As far as I can see, there’s no precise way to predict a guaranteed result (result = happy or unhappy?) by living your life in a prescribed way.

Because Happiness is a Point of View, Just like Sin
Some people enjoy being martyrs. To all outward appearances they act like they are constantly placed on the sacrificial table, like it or not. They do things because they ‘HAVE’ to and will tell you, “I had no choice.” No choice? Really?

Some people enjoy being victims. To all outward appearances they have been made use of, abused and walked on. Their happiness is limited because they cannot get past what happened to them. Cannot? Or will not?

(And yet others would read the above and cast negative judgement on people who fit these descriptions, or on the author of these descriptions for trivializing their problems, or on themselves for seeming to fit one of these descriptions…)

Is It Even Possible To Make Bad Choices?
Hindsight is perfect. If you knew better, wouldn’t you have naturally made a better choice? Or are you suggesting that people make bad choices on purpose? But if it serves your purpose – how is that a bad choice?

Perhaps the answer lies in knowing your true purpose (what you tell yourself vs how you are lying to yourself) and in making certain that what you tell yourself is in agreement with what you truly believe you deserve & want for yourself.
Which do you choose first - The Bar or The Beverage?
Being happy can be a choice. Being happy can also be the result of a choice. Think about it.

Why All The Questions, And Damn You Now I’m Thirsty.
Why indeed.

In my humble opinion, it’s up to the individual to decide how to interpret the world, place value on all the things in it, and make choices that align with these values.

Things, thoughts, people, places… they change every second. Every tap on my keyboard influences the next. My view of this blogpost may change after a good night’s rest and a hearty fiber filled breakfast tomorrow.

The drink I had the very first time I got drunk at 17, has something to do with what I choose to drink today. The bar I went to last month, alters my level of satisfaction with the bars I used to go to before that, and the bars I choose to patronize now, and therefore the people I would meet, the connections I might make, the business deals I might clinch as a result... the chain of cause and effect is endless and if you really want to find the root of all blame... it starts with the big bang, or God... depending on your religion. Which basically means - why do anything? When what's about to happen to us has already been decided upon even before we were born.

Or, we can take the reigns by taking accountibility for everything that happens to us - as a result of the choices we make... and thereby, be granted the gift of being able to make new choices next time.

Every choice is individualistic in nature – it either happens to conform, or it doesn’t. And things change, even after the choice has been made.

What it means to ME be to be called a Free Spirit…
Like delightful shots of Chivas, served on the house…

…I can warm the body & bolster a flagging spirit, inspire passion and good humour while allowing you the freedom & space to be melancholy if that is your wish…
… Make you feel good even if you have done something bad, because good people have been known to occasionally do bad things…
…Leave you with enough courage to see you through something more than you would have had the courage to do before me, and surround you with a blanket of security however fleeting it may be…
… Help you to understand that you already have all the answers, the only problem is remembering it and sobering up enough to act upon them…
…Yet have the ability to floor you with my potency, become disillusioned with seemingly false promises, and generally leave you with a bad taste in your mouth and a headache after all the fun has been had…

… Sometimes… and sometimes not… but either way…

Thanks for the compliment.



G: ok will u recoil if i EVER begin to manja with u?
G: i know i'm the dudette n all
G: but i still hve my moments of GIRLNESS when I feel lonely n shit
G damit

R: y would i recoil?

G: grins


R: everybody needs a little passion or compassion from Ravin

*blink blink*


G: i remember the very first time we bumped into you at ss
G: remember?
G: i was like, "damn. who's this dude?"
G: "he's rockin"

R: i was wearing a collared T, jeans and sneakers
R: i was comfy...and tried to look like i belong...
R: how was that a "bad boy" image?
R: it's the AURA...the PHEROMONES...

G: you are blameless
G: really
G: it's all happening TO you
G: *pat pat*
G: i feel for u babe
G: *wide eyed innocence*

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sunday's Hall of Famers!!!!

Players: Capes, Tats, Boon, Fon, Edgar, Mum & mois

Category: Garden-1, Adam & Eve-2, Forbidden Fruit-3
Stupid snakes gotcha you dumb foolish humans. - Edgar (2 pts)
Satan's snake gave you dubious fruits happily. - Edgar (3 pts)
Her fruit damaged your good sense, sir! - Gayle (3 pts)
Susi syok gardening yellow daisies for Hockster! - Tats (MUAH HAHAHAHAH *beep*)

Category: Xmas-1, Stocking-2, Fairy-3
Vanessa's big arse slaps Boon into Christmas! - Fon (definite points for effort!)
Veronica's breasts activated Santa's big indigo Christmas! - Capes (WTF lol)
Christmas is beautiful - Satan absconds by van. - Edgar (1 pt for sheer hahaha)

Category: President-1, Actor-2, Nancy-3
Presidents will always get to try Nancy. - Edgar (3 pts)

Category: Pay-1, Favour-2, Prostitute-3, Bordello-5
Prostitutes gave Tats plenty jolly blows inside - Gayle (muah hahahaha)
Prostitutes get truly pricey jobs blowing Indians - Edgar (*headesk*)
Inga blew John's 'Prostitute Training Ground' pervertly - Tats? (ROFL)
(What's the other one guys, I cannot remember liao)

Monday, July 23, 2007


Brain Power Experiment

Verblogsity Round 1

Now try it and weep.


Food (1 point)
Garlic (2 points)
Indigestion (3 points)
Halitosis (5 points)

"Indigestion may make Willy bloat with shit." - Mum
"Smelly wind blew Willy miles, maybe indefinitely." - Mum

Verbosity Hall of Fame

Just 'cause they were funny...

Eve played gamely, Adam's terribly disarranged balls. -Jason
Musicians should always yell, "Keep chapatti mouldy!" - Ian
Giant pigeons must eat balls and tits. - Amy
Old and sad doctors play catching kids. - Jason
"She is always mounting goats," Betsy cried. - May
Can Big George mount another Indian shepherd? - Jason
Shitty German canoeist thinks he is knowing Olympics. - Jason
A paunch always causes traumatic dance movements. - Diane
Shy Tony never bends down playfully anymore. - Gayle
Ate two hot lamb chops, farted. - Shirley
Men do this casually and pass away. - Shirley
Roll your nice ass over the King. - Desmond
Al's paunch also clobbered Thomas during mass. - Gayle
"Bend it carefully," said the playful Aunty. - Jason
Bring me incense with Tonto's asshole. - Gayle

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Verbosity - the mechanics.

I've been playing this crazy word game with my family for a few years, and it's a bloody laugh a minute. Verbosity is a game that encourages creative and outlandish imagination, along with good language skills - and you end up with hilarious sentences like...

"The affable bastard enjoys my plump groin." - Ian (3 points)

How it Works

Players are given:
- 7 Letters of the Alphabet (eg. H,P,S,C,G,F,A)
- A category card (eg. Women-1pt, Love-2pts, Headache-3pts)

Each letter represents the beginning of a word.
Left to right, right to left - up to you.
But string the words together to make a sentence.

Example: (left to right)
Head pains slowly came, giving Fanny aches. (That's a 3 pointer)

Example: (right to left)
Amber feels good caressing Simon's purple head. (That's a possible 2 pointer, or 1 point at least)

Got that? Yay! Moving on. hehe

Life Through the Bottom of a Coffee Cup

Let me say a few things about my tall Java Chip Frap. It's from Starbucks. And what it is, is 12 fluid ounces (or 354 ml) of AWESOMENESS in a disposable but environmentally unfriendly plastic cup.

"Starbucks coffee & chocolatey coffee biscuits blended together and topped with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle."

On days like today - a lazy Sunday for others, a working day for me - I need the coffee to clear the cobwebs from my mind. Or so I tell myself. Then I find this...

This is the web of your spider next door.
Just your regular spider, you know - good school grades, doesn't mix with the wrong crowd, his strongest beverage so far is probably lizard blood on the rocks.

THIS is the web of the 'bad-boy' spider who proooobably gave himself a shot of caffeine right before his photo shoot . To calm his nerves so he can perform, you know how it is.

*blink* *blink* *slurrrp*

These pictures perfectly depict my mind on coffee too. Linear one minute. Completely fucking derailed the next.

Wikipedia says:
"In humans, caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant, having the effect of temporarily warding off drowsiness and restoring alertness."

Wikipdeia means:
When you drink coffee, you will experience the Window of Weirdness. A moment when your nerves get shot to shit and you freakin' bounce off the walls. Cousin Capes can tell you all about this.

But what's really scary is "CaffeineTolerance" and the resulting"Caffeine Crash." Which basically means, once you start drinking coffee - you bloody hell better not stop.

*warning: derailment*

MEN! Win Your Woman!

All you need to do is simply take part
in this 3-step experiment
and you could WIN the heart of your whiny-assed girlfriend
who complains you just don't 'get' her.

Step 1: Go on a coffee binge for a week.
Step 2: Stop.
Step 3: Stop, damit.

Within 48 hours, you will undergo a miraculous transformation and receive a brand new set of Coffee Goggles (TM). The headaches, irritability and stomach cramps will only be overshadowed by your sudden desire to watch Oprah! With your girlfriend.

So don't wait! Try it today and tell us how it goes.

Occasionally Dressed

Right. Like. So. Like.

Does that mean that

A. One is dressed for the occasion?
B. That one is dressed, but only on certain occasions ?
C. All of the above?

*stares at tall Starbucks Java Frappucino with no cream*

You will tell me.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Chuck Norris is like a tampon

I am addicted to Chuck Norris like a druggie addicted to smack. I'll alienate my friends. I'll find any way possible to inject a dose of him into conversation. But on the upside, at least I won't have to worry about radiation breath or that starved skeleton look.

Come to think of it, Chuck Norris is actually handy to have around. He's like a tampon. Not something you want to flash around in public too often, but handy for a quick fix - and customisable for other things too.


1) A tampon you can use to plug a bleed. Chuck Norris you use to cause a bleed.

2) A tampon applicator you can use to launch spitballs from. Either one of Chuck Norris' legs could be used to launch children into the sun.

3) A tampon can also be used as a prophylactic - if a woman's all plugged up, there's usually not enough crawl space in there for an ant let alone a Kielbasa sausage. No sex means no STD. Chuck Norris himself IS a prophylactic, simply because any woman he has sex with won't survive the experience... so there's really no reason to worry about disease. And at any rate, there's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris, so why worry.

People. Chuck Norris is simply a Fact of Life. Like the Grim Reaper, the IRS, and China. We can all run now. But sometime soon, he's gonna catch up with us... and he's gonna hump us - literally or figuratively.

But probably both.