Friday, October 21, 2005


Bloody NeoMart was closed, kanasai tiu tiu tiu!

No lights, not even the customary “I GO TOILET BE BACK” sign!

Instead, I popped over to MPH and grabbed two gossipy magazines. So for my first post-exam treat:

▪ Brad Pitt begs Jan’s forgiveness
▪ Oprah betrays Stedman – builds secret island hideaway with galpal
▪ Kenny Chesney NOT gay but Renee dumps him anyway

Okay lah, so the mags added more meaning to my toilet time. But NeoMart better be open on Monday by 11.30am OR ELSE!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Exam Shazam!

Exam day tomorrow!
It feels like I’m about to be put on trial for something I have yet to commit.

I bet my underwear I’ll be having the SPM nightmare tonight too.

But it’s okay.  Know why?
Because tomorrow.  At 11.30am.
I will be at the Gurney Plaza RPG shop
rewarding myself with a set of RPG dice
for taking my first written exam
in 10 years.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Wear The Leash, Hold The Leash

  1. Know Your Purpose
If you don’t, someone else could give you false purpose and manipulate you… to take over the world in their name.

  1. Use Your Gifts with Dicipline
If you can write well, write everyday and you’ll grow as a writer.  If you *ahem* well, I guess doing so everyday will make you a better *ahem-er* too.

  1. Reflect & Move Forward
Stop and take a look at your life.  It is what it is.  Look at your best options and make a choice.

  1. Serve Others
I’m not talking about being waitress here, shut up.  Look at the people around you eg your family / subordinates / etc, are they better off because of you?  

  1. Pull Up The Stakes
A fancy schmancy way of saying never give up.  There’s no such thing as failure, only things that get in the way of your success.  

  1. Listen Damnit
How does YOUR mind translate what you hear, into what you want to hear.  Read into what is said, what is not said, what they want to say but don’t know how to.

  1. Take Calculated Risks
It’s better to risk, than to live never succeeding and never failing.  It’s better to try being gay, than.. err… never mind.

  1. Stop Tolerating
Don’t put up with not having the quality of life you deserve.  I AM going to get that HELICOPTER.  It will be blue.  Like my shotgun.

  1. Be 100% Honest
With yourself first!  Then with others.  It may be difficult to be honest, without being aggressive.   *FWOAH difficult, sial*
  1. Make the Present Perfect
Live in the now – the choices you make that affect your life are happening NOW.  Not in the past.  Not in the future, which you try to predict based on the past.



‘Wooohoooo, darling! Give us a kiss!’ Obviously, Tony and husband were already at my Chee Seng home when ___ and I arrived. Thus summoned, I went straight to the Hall and gave dear Tony a tight squeeze and a peck on both cheeks, and the same for Peter. I hollered to ___ who had obviously chickened away to play with the dog for a bit… but not for long. *snigger*

We chatted for a bit about nothing much, Tony handing out his customary gift. He’s such a great gift-giver, always managing to find the perfect thing for me. This time round it was a shimmery lipstick palette encased within a slim case, like a CD-case. The outrageous colours were perfect for nights at the club!

Nan was her usual self, playing the Queen Mother. She gets that way when an English or European guest comes to visit. A trifle annoying, but it comes in handy. She’s ever the attentive host, even when the rest of the family is not in the mood for visitors. However this time round, the family was busy getting ready for dinner. Nan had already prepared, as she generally gets ready for a dinner party by 3 in the afternoon.

With a clang on the dinner gong, the household was summoned. Everyone gathered round the dinner table which had been extended by a mahjong table aka the Kid’s table. The kids (Ian, ___ and myself) sat there – close to the fridge containing ice-cubes and the liquor. The elders and the ancient had pride of place at the proper dining table.

I can’t remember now what dinner was, but I’m pretty sure Pork Pot Roast was involved, as it always is at family functions. Tender chunks of Pork that is cooked till soft, in a generous gravy of vinegar, soy sauce, oyster sauce and sugar, for about 2 hours.

Dinner was fun. The elders and the ancient carried on the main conversation, while Ian and I filled ___ in on the inside jokes and the backgrounds of various notorious family members.

There was Godpa who looks like Elvis and has a childlike sense of mischief, but who is also a successful Director of 2 Japanese run companies. He and his wife were not blessed with children of their own, but were Godparents to a whole neighbourhood of kids. His wife – my Mom’s best friend and my dear ‘Mama’ – was Trinidadian and sadly passed away at an early age due to complications from diabetes. True to her Trinidadian nature, she was fun, loving and totally outrageous.

There was Aunty Mo, a stalwart lady who loves the colour purple (purple clothes, purple watch, purple shoes) and is capable of drinking the rest of our family under the table… even though she now walks with a stick. A very tough lady but with an easygoing demeanour, Aunty Mo is always ready for a joke. “40 years of bliss and blisters,” she happily proclaimed at my parent’s anniversary once.

Tony is Aunty Mo’s eldest son and is thoroughly gay. He is slightly effeminate, very affectionate and with a totally infectious laugh. I always look forward to his trips to Penang and love him dearly. Peter, Tony’s beloved, I know little about but he comes across as a sweet and loving character. The two of them have been together for as long as I can remember.

Before long, dinner was over and the ‘kids’ were well sloshed. The topic of my new found gay-ness was never brought up, to ___'s delight. We all said our goodbyes and left for our respective homes, and that was the end. Anti-climax, no?



One post was about all I managed on Yahoo 360.  Sure it has loads of add-ons.  Sure it has all sorts of tools and categorized post sections that initially appealed to the control-freak in me.  But all in all (yes Mrs English 3  I’m starting a sentence with ‘but’), it only added to my confusion and complicated my life in ways I did not need.  

That wasn’t the only reason for my long absence from blogging though.  In part, I’d lost a desire to blog.  I had nothing new to say.  I was also dealing with some issues that I was not prepared to publicize on my blog, and for a while it consumed me.  

I’m back now though.  I’ve grown since I left, with new material to bring to my blog.  Superduperwooper.  Thanks also to Adeline, who gave me the last push I needed to return.   So in thanks, here’s the missing post you’ve been waiting for dear Ad…

Friday, August 26, 2005

Student Life... a new blog

My life of a university student has just begun, and I'm bursting with tales of imbecilic young students who have not yet realised that I'm the resident makcik not to be tangled with.

After reading the 6-page lawyerly document about university rules and disciplinary boards, I've decided to keep a tight reign on my blog to prevent my expulsion.

I've moving my blog to the new Yahoo 360 blog site. A new blog site for a new chapter in my life, I think it apt. However, the blogsite is not for public viewing (because members of the discplinary board make up that public).

If you're a friend you should have no problem. If you're a fan of my past blog and would like to continue reading my new blog... well, I refrain from commenting on your twisted sense of entertainment. You need to get a life. In the meantime, leave a comment here or email me with your details (email etc) and I'll add you to my friends list.

This link here heads straight to my blog.

Friday, May 27, 2005

A gay dinner...

While we were lounging around at 'Homey' (scroll down to find out what Homey is)... Mom says that Bona (my aunt) has invited ___ and myself back home for dinner on Friday night being held for Tony and Peter.

Tony is my gay cousin who lives half the year in England and the other half in Spain. Peter is his partner/husband.

Diane messages me and says, "Oooh.... it's a gay vs gay dinner. DRAMA!"

Yeah. *snort*

I can't wait either.

The Theory of the Tesco Couple

When a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Of course it does.

But when a Tesco couple is alone, and there are no witnesses to their shenanigans, do they still behave like a Tesco couple?

___ and I were heading to the car in the carpark. On the way, something got into us... she started running and I started chasing after her. She got into the car and locked me out. I jumped on the hood.

She drove off... with me there... sitting on the hood like a bargain basement hood ornament from Cosplus.

Soon though, we saw lights of another car coming into the carpark. She stopped, I jumped off, she let me in. And we continued our day as normal, giggling like 2 year olds in the car.

Now when I go to Tesco, I look around.... and I wonder....

Cool It With the Kacang Already

I was just reminiscing the months past... in the days of courting for ___ and I. One particular moment remains vividly in my memory. Let me set the scene.

We're at Sohos. I'm standing in the corner by the railing, watching the pool game. She's sitting on the platform, on the other side of the railing. There was Kacang on the table, I wanted some. She shelled a couple for me, and I was grateful.

Crunch crunch crunch... "Nice shot!"

She hands me more Kacang. Oh, how nice, thanks again.

Crunch crunch crunch....

As the night goes on, I feel my jaws begin to ache with all the crunching and my mouth getting dry. "What's with ___ and the kacang?"I think to myself. Turning to look at her... there she is, furiously shelling Kacang after Kacang... and plops a whole BLOODY HANDFUL into my hands. WHO EATS KACANG LIKE THAT? BUT!

I had no heart to tell her to stop. She looked like a person on a quest. Like a knight in the crusade.

A dear friend, Woon Wee... a bystander to the sordid event... turns to look at us... and shakes his head. I grin. ___ shells more kacang.


So Aja says to me, "Hey babe, I think he's Indian?"

I say, "Really? I think he's ______. What makes you think he's Indian?

"Cos in his email, he said DEY," blink blink.

"Riiiight..." says I, gently removing the Coffee Bean double coffee from her twitching grasp.


Just as we arrived at Ian and Diane's apartment... ___ went off in search of Diane, eager to begin a war of wits. She saw her in the spare room, back turned to ___... painting the wall.

"Oi! Ipoh is a deadtown!" She sniggers loudly.

No response from Diane. STRANGE. She always jumps to the bait.

Well, not so strange. See... it wasn't Diane whom ___ was talking to.

SNIGGERS from the rest of the family! MUAH AHHAAH

Pooor ___. Nice try. Diane is a formidable opponent even when she is NOT there. HARHARHAR

The Offering of the Coffee

Went over to Ian and Diane's new apartment the other day, to visit Mum, Dad and Ian... as well as to provide whatever help they wanted with renovating the place. Turns out they just wanted to be fed... like true Bangladeshi workers.

Homey looked great. Yeah, the apartment has a name too... Homey. It's an african-american apartment. *?* KEWL

Anyway, there we were sitting on the floor digging into our Nasi Kandar... with ___ helping to distribute food she bought for my family. No description necessary. NK is NK... and simply delish.

Mom made coffee. I took a sip from Mom's cup. Then she offered HER CUP and said, "Ask ___ if she wants some?"

WHEEEEE *ding ding* OFFICIAL MILESTONE #2 of the (___)-Mom relationship!

I was GRINNING from ear to bloody ear. South Park fans would think I'd suddenly turned Canadian.

My Baby's Love Affair

Yes, ___ is having an affair... and not behind my back either! The other day at the movies, I caught her winking.... at my LEFT BOOB!!!

I turned away confused, pretending it didn't happen. She did the same. And then she asked, "You saw me wink at your left breast?"

"Yeah! What's up with that?" I replied

She shrugged, "I dunno. Just felt like doing it."


So I've decided that my left breast has earned its status as an individual entity. It's name is Chigger.

Friday, May 20, 2005

i don't care what u say, that's funny right there

Me : Why did the guy with one arm cross the road?

Sylvia : He left his arm behind?

Me : To go to the SECOND HAND STORE.

Sylvia : >.<

Sylvia : Have you had coffee yet?


Call Me Ransom

Me : I actually spoke to a girl today by the name of RAIN

Me : Her 'english' name kononnya.

Me : Fucking rain

Me : She sounds like a goddamned downpour she's so BLUR

Friend: well, there's some in my contact list that's called Windy Wu and another called Ransome So.

Friend: my colleague said, maybe he wanted to be called Hansome but don't want to be so outright


Privacy not protected. If you're gonna choose the name... you're gonna have ta pay the price.

World's Stupidest First Names

So yeah... I call up this college where I took my SBP DIPLOMA IN BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, because the legitimacy of the diploma came into question while applying to pursue a degree in Education.


UNITAR has my certificates. They're in the INDUSTRY.
If they don't bloody understand the programme - you know which college I studied at.
You've got all the connections.

No. They send me a postcard... but that's not the reason why I'm writing this blog.

I'm writing this blog because the coordinator at the college where I'm studying at has a first name - her English name, I'm informed by the girl who's answering the phone... is Rain.

Yes. "What's her name?"

"Ms Rain"

"What's her full name?"

"Ms Rain. Her English name."

"That's her ONLY name? Does she have any other name to go with that name?"

"Ms Rain xxxxxx" (for privacy purposes)

So yeah, I spoke to Ms Rain...

... but really honey, you sound like a goddamned Downpour.


Yes indeedy. I'm gonna follow in Jobe's blogsteps and post a

*rant warning*

First off... I get a second postcard from UNITAR saying my application is incomplete and would I please send my full diploma transcripts.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE - those ARE my FULL **** transcripts. And if they don't fit your criteria then bloody hell come to a decision about what to do next... providing what you decide to do next, is not to SEND ME ANOTHER BLOODY POSTCARD!!!

Or is UNITAR short for UNIversity of reTARds!

Why am I even applying to you?!!

*sigh* Because you hold a monopoly in the subject I want to take. DAMNIT
Which, *IRONY* is a Bachelor's Degree in EDUCATION.


Thursday, May 19, 2005

Sixty Five


That's how much I weigh now.
I've gone past the 60 milestone for the very first time.


Here, let me wave my arms. Do you feel the breeze?

Penang Drivers are Insane

Quite a few of them deserve to be shot.

It doesn't help that I'm PMS'ing.

The other day... this woman was driving TOTALLY on the wrong side of the road... cutting all the cars in her lane.

I could've avoided her.

But I chose to drive straight AT her.

She was freaked and looked a little annoyed.

I... realised I was PMSing.


Yes, you heard me right.

I think I'd rather have a shotgun.

To match the car.

About HIV

So yeah, did a pro-bono emceeing stint at a World Aids Day Candlelight Memorial thing recently. My FIRST emceeing stint, I might add. It was cool... not much to do except read from the script.

It was awesome to meet Becki though. She's the first person I've met who's living with HIV... she came up and told her story. I was so touched, I had to hug her.

Do you know what she's had to go through???
Even in the HOSPITAL where the medical personnel are supposed to be trained to handle AIDs patients, Becki was ostracised and discriminated against. They told everyone she had HIV, to stay away from her. They put her in an area away from everyone else and she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. They wouldn't help her. They treated her hatefully... like she was a stray dog!

But LOOK PEOPLE! She didn't ask for this! Her only crime was to be married to the person who infected her!

I mean JESUS!

The small-mindedness of some people really make me sick.

Now I really want a shot gun.

Drunk Again

Thanks Jennifer for an awesome party!
Hope your Dad didn't mind the noise.
Your toilet was awesomely huge too. I would've been proud to have gotten lost in that one.
But no, it didn't come to that.

Edgar - give us those pix won't you?

Readers... we now have an updated photo... a real-time, side-by-side comparison... of (___).. and the Yew!

Waiiit for it...

Alien Number 1... Resigned

Alien Number One has been recalled to her spaceship.
Some of you may know whom I speak of... the alien... the scanner... in the scanning department.

farethewell Number One.
We shall miss your googly eyes.

*sniff* i didn't even get to know your name!!!!

An Ode to Aja's Cheongsam


This is supposed to be an ode
but I think I've had too much coffee today.


Zum Zum

So yeah, I bought a car. Forgot to mention that earlier.
Traded in the shy car for a Kenari... lovely and spacious. 2nd hand of course, and I'm sharing it with a friend... otherwise mesa cannotsa afforditsa.

What colour you ask?

And it's name is Zum Zum.

On Friday last week (was it Friday?) Zum Zum... was injured. Worse than injured. MAIMED even! She lost a limb... while traveling down... a long and lonesome road.... we heard a sound, and there, in the middle... of the road... was our exhaust pipe.

Okay maybe not that dramatic. The exhaust broke in the middle... at bloody 8am in the Free Trade Zone. So there we were dragging the exhaust pipe along the road looking for car-dudes to fix the dang car.

To cut a long story short. We got it sorted. Cost us RM175.

But now Zum Zum is whole again. I try to hug her as often as I can to erase her memory of the ordeal.

And now, I desperately seek ... Winnie the Pooh cushions or cushion covers for the backseat.

We already have the Winnie the Pooh car fragrance.

*manic grin*

Monday, May 09, 2005

The Parent Conundrum

I'm proud to introduce my darling to everyone I know. But I am not without expectations of my own. I want to be introduced to her parents and those close to her, not as a friend, but as that someone special.

I'm not pushing the subject, for now. But eventually, I want the relationship that we have, the status that I have in her life, to be made known. I don't want to someday find myself excluded in something very important, maybe even life changing, due to an oversight such as this.

I understand the reality of it though. And I will be patient... for as long as I see that the situation is being addressed. And that we are moving on in our lives, together.

And so I am very happy that we've agreed on a resolution, and come up with a plan. To be introduced as a friend in a gathering of other friends. It's something, and it's a start. I'm excited about where it will continue to take us.

Why am I writing something of such a personal nature here? This blog of mine has had a great impact on my life in many ways. I'm a person who's outwardly extrovert, yet tends to prefer to avoid conflict... and to keep my true feelings locked up inside. It's not healthy, and I've suffered its side-effects in previous relationships.

This blog helps to keep me real. By revealing myself to other readers, I've found an incredible freedom. It's a reaffirmation of my being. There is no shame in being who I am, in facing the problems that I face, in feeling the things that I feel, in wanting and needing the things that I want or need.

In later years, I may look back on this journal of my life and be reminded of the small triumphs that made me who I am. On the other hand, I may also wonder, "What the heck was I thinking. " But should I feel that way, I will also know that the journey was necessary in the making of Gayle as a complete person. Perhaps only when we reach our destination, will we understand the trials of the journey.

LORNA, I know you're reading this

Like a thief in the night
She stays outta sight
She's a rose with no thorns
And she knows what goes on

My blog, she reads weekly
And she thinks, very deeply
All the things I have said
All the things she has read

But tell me, is the attraction
Really just in the section
With the secrets to satisfaction?
Does it drive you to distraction?


Maybe now you'll consent
To finally leave a comment
On my blog so I can see
What you think of my poetry!


Byeeee 'ana!

iPod myPOD

This is the greatest and best poem in the world... TRIBUTE... to AJA

She comes back from her holiday,
All tanned, shiny and gay,
I tell her about my iPOD
And she's like... NO WAY

"Please, Please can I have one too?"
"Tell ___, I'll be true"
"I'll paint my toenails blue"
"I'll stick to her like glue"

No babe, I'm sorry to say
She's just not into you that way
Besides, I know you're not gay
So yeah... No Way

But I'll play the songs you like to hear
And I'll cry with you when you feel a tear
appear because you don't have the gear
to listen to cool songs (1,500) from ear to ear

Not like I can
when I'm in a jam
or even when I'm
dumping in the can.


Tenacious D... and their new MOVIE!!!!

Dudes, I'm STOKED!

The fucking awesome Tenacious D comprising superstar comedian Jack Black (from School of Rock fame) and Kyle Gass (otherwise known as KG or the Kage) have almost finished the script for their new movie, "Tenacious D in : The Pick of Destiny" to be directed by Liam Lynch (also the Director of the music video for Tribute) and produced by Ben Stiller's Red Hour Films and Working Title Films.

Expect a WHOLE NEW soundtrack from the guys who brought us such memorable songs as Fuck Her Softly, Rock Your Socks Off, Wonderboy, Karate and Kielbasa Sausage. One wonders if they will be lucky enough to stumble upon yet another great rock invention like Inward Singing or if they will dispense even more fitness advice akin to their previous Cock Pushups.

Who else is acting in the movie besides JB and Kage the Rage? Why, their number one fan of course... Lee (not his real name). It is also rumoured that there will be cameos by Meatloaf (slotted to play Jack Black's Father), Ben Stiller and many others.

For more tenacious tidbits, click the link above. The site also includes games and downloads for tenacious fans of The D.

There Shined a Shiny Demon

Egads! I didn't know they glowed. Posted by Hello

More Mother's Day Luncheon

My sis-in-law, Diane and I at Sarkies Corner for Mother's Day Luncheon. Look at those loovely pasties behind us... *smack smack*Posted by Hello

Mother's Day with the Capel and Barbosa clan

My brother, Ian and I at Mother's Day Lunch at Sarkies Corner, E&O Hotel, Penang. Check out my new permed hair-do... you likey-likey? Posted by Hello

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tribute to the Brother Assassin

Bro. J. B. Blaikie

He's the Brother Assasin
So don't be messin'
Cos with his BFG
He'll play QUAKE 3

Nai Noj takes aim
And Nosaj is game
To shoot with glee
And shout, "GOLLY GEE..."

"Aihm sexy!!!"


All New Fun Links

Check out my all new funk links in the side bar...
For all you frustrated dudes and dudettes who have nothing else better
than to look at plastic, primary coloured notti toys and stuff.

Contest! Contest! Contest!

The cock and the pussy are like jigsaw puzzles.

So really, we can all relax. Because a girl who doesn't fit quite right (read: loose), may not have been the village bicycle. And guys... what is the perfect size? I mean, really! (Aaron: It's okay about the small webos, we understand).

Lesbian couples already know this, or at least, this lesbian couple does.

It's really about finding two pieces that match - like fitting the pieces of a puzzle together, be it a dick, a dildo, a chicken drumstick or a cucumber.

Sometimes the best match isn't even cock-like or pussy-like... as those of us who much prefer clitorial stimulation to penetration will attest.

Take a photo, submit it on this blog and WIN WIN WIN!!!!!!!!!

PS: For naughty 'novelties' and kinky outfits... comment or email me and I'll send you a catalogue.

Monday, April 18, 2005


Item: Complete Wardrobe

Scene of the Crime: My apartment

Suspected Criminals: The aliens

Have you seen my clothes? Have you seen the aliens?
I will be standing on my balcony naked feverishly searching the skies for any sign of remorse and return of my clothes... or at least by black lace thong.

Daddy Dearest

Daddy is just the sweetest thing.

On the phone with him today he suddenly tells me, "Girl. Now, I love you. And I support your decision as long as you're sure it's what you want. I met ___ last night and I want you to do this for me. Ask her... what can I do for her that she's more comfortable with me. I tried making conversation but I didn't really have many topics to talk about. Ask her for me okay? And tell her, that as far as I'm concerned... she's a lovely lady. And as long as she takes care of you, she's in my good books."

*tears tears tears*

Thank you Daddy... you always continue to amaze me with your capacity for love and understanding.

Reunion at Rozells

Yesterday was the time of the great family reunion after my moving out a week ago.
My parental unit, my baby, my pair of friends... my 2-yr old Aussie fiance and his whole family were there.

We had a quiet dinner and my dear old sweet daddy initiated small talk with ___... in a bid to get to know her... he said, "___ you smoke? How much do you smoke? My wife smokes 2 packets a day..." and there we have it... the (___)-mom relationship initiation.

Memorable moments for me...

1. Daddy and the smoke dialogue
2. My mom digging in to the fried rice knowing that ___ had ordered it for us to share
3. ___ wiping ice-cream off little Williams face and hands with my Mom hovering by
4. ___ initiating conversation with my mom and dad
5. ___ seeing to my parent's wellfare... enough drinks, enough food, etc...

It was an amazing sight!!! I was extremely touched, so very happy and so very PROUD to have these fantastic people in my life.

Thank you baby, Mom, Dad!
I love you all.

Lost in the Loo

"Lights On, Lights Off... Part 2"

Another classic example of not allowing drunks to wander off alone.
But this time, I'm bitching because Edgar bloody desserted me after saying he'd keep an eye out for me in case Aaron passes out (which Aaron did).

So what happened?

I throw my lungs up in the toilet then proceed to get hopelessly lost WHILE STILL IN THE TOILET. The damn thing was the space of a closet but I was HOPELESSLY unable to find the door.

And the moment between leaving the table and me reaching the loo took the space of 5 seconds - enuf for 'The E' to pass out... completely, totally, utterly, inevitably... dead to the world.

I resigned myself to my fate, the porcelain throne became my bed for the night.


Red Lights are FUN

Here I go again, attempting to buy a car.

The first time I tried this, I was simply inundated with so many views that I decided to give it a rest.

Now I'm trying again... on a solo mission to buy a vehicle minus the rotor blades (what I really want is a helicopter) that will cruise the cramped Penang roads. I look forward to grabbing my Smart Tag device, pretending it's a Star Trek scanner... and furiously scan neighbouring cars at red lights for suspicious alien activity.

The Naked Housekeeper

The great PLUS point about moving into a place of your own is this... you can get naked to sweep the floors, clean the toilets, scrub the sinks and change the sheets, cause your clothes would just get dirty and that in turn would just raise the laundry bill, thereby defeating the purpose of saving money by doing the house chores by yourself.


It's GREAT-er when the people you live with agree with you.

I'm still formulating a plausible reason to stand naked in front of the balcony doors.

Any thoughts?

The Triangle of Life

In a few years from now, earthlings launch a spaceship filled with humans of every conceivable race, occupation and age. Should anything ever happen to earth, the species will survive.

Centuries later, nothing disastrous has happened. We are incredibly super-tech and our spaceships are exploring the galaxies.

I am on one of these spaceships.

On our journey, we bump into that first spaceship of humans who were sent to preserve humanity.

We discover, their water system has been polluted*. They are going insane**.
They only have a 1 in 6 chance of survival.

To prepare for any emergencies, the ship executes disaster drills.
Men, women and children start ducking under their desks in the typical 'duck and hold' position.

At which point I scream... "No.... that's not the way to do it. You will DIE! Lie in the foetal position NEXT to the object. It's the TRIANGLE OF LIFE!!!!"***

And wake up.

References, from life to the dreamstate:
** Aja and the scanners
*** Research done for Penang's disaster preparedness handbook

Lights on, Lights off

Saturday night was a great example of how drunks shouldn't be allowed to, err... do anything by themselves.

We were at the Sports Club, I'd had one too many JD Coke's.
I passionately tell Sylvia, "I need to pee. I'm going to hold on to you cos i can't walk surrtstraight."

Off we go.
I push open the door to the loo and WHOA the lights flicker on! I stare up in amazement say, "HEY! Cool! They've got automatic lights! This is one high-tech club!"

At which point she tells me... "errrr... no. I switched them on."

*blink blink*

"Nooooo, are you sure?" says I.


"Hmph," I snort as my eyes cross. "Wow."

For those of you wondering, no, there's no point to that story.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Mental Masturbation over My Moving

After 28 years of being tied to mommy's apron strings, I'm finally moving out of the house and moving in with my baby.

Although come to think of it, I'm not really moving in or out of anything... just spreading myself to two places.

After all... I do have 28 YEARS WORTH OF CRAP stored lovingly in that sunless void that's situated in the middle of my house, which I call my room. Don't get me wrong. It's not a windowless airless hole. It has windows. They open to the kitchen.

But I digress...

I love my home... even more so when I spend most of my time away from it.
I look forward to going back periodically to spend quality time with 'the elders'.
To listen to how Nan still holds conversations in a realm all her own.

Ian: "Did you go to the hospital today Nan?"
Nan: "Yeah, I've had my dinner thanks. Would you like some crumbs?"
Ian: "No thanks because the [empty silence with only mouth movements for effect] aliens came to [mouthing only] and take your medicine."

To look at my room nostalgically - painted in fuchsia and sexually frustrated purple; for a sense of depth (to the room, not its occupant) - and filled to the brim with winnie the pooh collectibles.

I can't possibly cart all my stuff over. Where would I start? And besides, I want to leave the memory of me behind... not ERASE the evidence of my presence. 28 years is a lot to give up.

And yet I'm happy. EXCITED.

"Do you think it's too soon? You're still in the honeymoon phase," Aja asked.

"No," I replied lightly.

What I really meant by that one word reply was this... "Is it too soon? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. Is anything ever too soon? Is anything ever too late? When is that perfect point in time when you just KNOW? Maybe next time in hindsight I might look back and say it was too soon. But then again, I may not. Note to self, you're mentally masturbating again Gayle. stopit."

"No," I repeated once more and because I felt it had to be qualified, I added "X and I were in the honeymoon phase for the better part of 4 years." *shrugs*

I'm EXCITED. I'm happy. I'm nervous. I'm worried. I'm determined to succeed. I'm worried about failing. I'm so many things all at once... and that's normal for me. I've learned to accept and even EMBRACE the fucked up way in which my mind tends to wander. To put it all aside then say "oh what the fuck, i'll do it anyway."

I'm gonna be myself. I'm gonna stand my ground. I'm gonna ask for 'me' space.

Not enquire if it were possible, if it weren't too much trouble, if it weren't trespassing and if there were no previous plans for that room if I may please have a little space for me and I feel bad to ask cause it's really your place and I don't wanna make it seem like I'm encroaching or using you or anything so you know I really just wann be humble about this so how? >.< *blink blink*

I can be such a loser sometimes. We're in this together, and yet sometimes, because I don't want to be a burden, I pretend that there are some things I can really do without, even when I know there's no reason that should be so.

I know ___ doesn't want me to do without.
*chuckle* So baby... 'me' space please? For whatever I feel like putting in it.
Even if it's an igloo.

My Webos is Blue

Aaron has a small 'webos'

At least, that is the myth... it all happened years ago. Think church. Think pubescent boys in a motorbike gang. Think peeing off Penang bridge in the dead of night.

I only wonder... was it blue too?

Aaron, tell me really, are you a poo'ter?

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Lillian Who?

" Your Astrological Weight at Birth is

5liang 2chin

Solar Birthdate = 7 Nov 1977
Lunar Birthdate = 26 Sept 1977

Life will be a smooth journey for you all the way. Everything you do will be successful. You do not need to suffer or work hard. Family members that carry your surname will be famous too. You will be happy with your fortunes and the assets that you build. Wear a mystic knot to protect your good fortune luck. "

Riiiight. Somehow I think I got my birth-hour wrong, cause honey life ain't always a bed of roses for me.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

You Like DAT?

"Ooh yeah baby, that feels good coming out of the closet like DAT!
You LIKE dat? You LIKE dat? Hang on I'm gonna SPURT!"

Lordy ... lordy... me...
(Baby, Aaron says he looks like you. How?) Posted by Hello

It's all so wrong. Posted by Hello

My tie is blue. HECK.. IIII am blue! Posted by Hello

Read the post below and an earlier one entitled "About Aaron"

"I got class"

gayle_barbosa: didya read my little ditty about aaron?

Rommel : yes i did

Rommel : i shalt not say a thing, not after my haircut yesterday

Rommel : >.<

gayle_barbosa: HAHAHA

gayle_barbosa: awww c'mon

Rommel : errrrrrrrr

Rommel : notice totally omfg look ===> [yahoo messenger picture goes here]


gayle_barbosa: otherwise the blog...

gayle_barbosa: might die..

gayle_barbosa: forever...

gayle_barbosa: :((

Rommel : how the heck am i suppose to give u material woman?

gayle_barbosa: be the material

gayle_barbosa: feel the material

Rommel : sounds so wrong yet so right

Rommel : eh ask capes if he wants to see samara tonight or not

gayle_barbosa: "tonight ah" he says

gayle_barbosa: "cannot lah" he says

gayle_barbosa: "cannotlah sorry" he says

gayle_barbosa: "i got class" he says

gayle_barbosa: what kind of class - is debatable

Rommel : yer cikgu

gayle_barbosa: based on the colour of his tie... i'd say he's not talking about social class

gayle_barbosa: HAHA

Rommel : hes teaching chinese eds not to make home movies

Rommel : how*

gayle_barbosa: lol

gayle_barbosa: errr...

gayle_barbosa: there u go

gayle_barbosa: MATERIAL FOR OUR BLOG

Rommel : yay

Rommel : go me!

Rommel : ffs i got center parting! arrrgghhhh

gayle_barbosa: center parting?

gayle_barbosa: HAHAH

gayle_barbosa: like my old breadman

Rommel : one step closer to chinkiness

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

At Damai Beach, at the foothills of Mount Santubong (Sarawak) Posted by Hello

As always... the pre-party prep!!! Posted by Hello

Darn It! Posted by Hello

Damn Right!

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

You'd better believe it buddy boy.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

We Are The Champions

The good times... Asiaworks NMLP2. "We are the champions, my friend." Posted by Hello

Not mine, but he's damn cute

Whoozacutesiewootesieden? Posted by Hello

Bloody Winos

Shirley, my long time best friend with the wine up her nose. And aja, colleague and psychopath. Posted by Hello

Coffee Cold Turkey

N.O. c.o.f.f.e.e. t.o.d.a.y.
The world is muted. Yellows appear jaundiced and reds remind me of mud.
oh aja, how could you?
you got me addicted
first, one a day
and now two
but today you're unwell
and that's just, bloody swell
cause you're my supplier
and now i've never felt dryer
oh, please feel better soon
so i can jump over the moon
with a double shot, through the nose
served on a spoon

Friday, April 01, 2005

Bloody Awesome Recipes

Fried Fish with Buttered Rice and Marmite

Corn Beef with buttered rice

Crispy Fried Egg and Peanut Butter Sandwich

Ice Kacang with Cheezels

Hard Boiled Egg with Sandwich Spread and Bacon SANDWICH *slurp*

Mashed Potatoes with Sliced Up Fried Sausages and Hard Boiled Egg White bits

About Aaron

Short and sly
He had a tie
Electric blue

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Blue Text Diaries

Me : Penang is not big enuf for both of us


She : Did he text back?

Me : haha no

She : Guess he doesn't love you!
Am waiting... sigh.
Need to pee again, think I have bladder problem!

Me : Hold your breath, that might help.
You'd pass out of course and your pee will come out,
but then you'd be unconscious and won't be embarassed.


Me : Does my logic frighten you with its accuracy?


She : I have to say this... Ur a crazy bitch but I love u regardless.

Me : You a.l.w.a.y.s insist on making me cry! Whyyyyy? Love you too, pee wee

She : Do you miss me yet?

Me : By the way, these texts are being recorded on my blog
for customer service improvement purposes.
Answer = Yes.
Issue resolved by milk cow.
Is there anything else i can help you with?

*long silence*

*aja returns to office bearing choc croissants*

Me to Blue : Thank you for the croissants. Penang is always open to you.

Blue: My pleasure, enjoy. I come in love, not war.

Me to Blue: My eyes are brown.

Blue: OK, mine r blue. My arms r brown and my legs r white. Mental mon

Aja to Blue: She doesn't understand u.
i have to translate your texts. its not fair.
i don't want the competition. me or her.. Choose!


He has arrived.
He has survived.
I hope he has a backpack
and a butterfly knife.

This land. is not. big. enuf. for the both. of. us.


Wednesday, March 30, 2005

PMS for Posterity

I'm being totally fucking ignored
Now what do I do, I'm so bored
With life creeping up my ass
and something that rhymes with ass

Aja, schmaja
You suck, maja

No u don't
I'm being silly
I'm just PMS'ing
Willy nilly

Monday, February 07, 2005

Looking In at the Look Out

The Tanjung Sapi lookout point... err... guys... the view's behind you. Posted by Hello

Tanjung Sapi - made it! Posted by Hello

There, the crevasse! Fill it, with your mighty juice (Wonderboy - Tenacious D) Posted by Hello

Heights! Not good. Posted by Hello

Somewhere along the trail

A hidden cave, maybe even a clandestine make out spot... but all we saw were Coke cans and water bottles. Posted by Hello

Tanjung Sapi... making our way. Posted by Hello

Friday, February 04, 2005

Trekking to Tanjung Sapi

Examining the trail-map at the beginning of our first 45 minute trail to Tg Sapi. Posted by Hello

The lone wader. Posted by Hello

At low tide, the boatmen are forced to drop their passengers off some 100 metres or so from the shore. So here we are wading in completely unprepared with our jeans and tracks hiked up to our crotches where possible. Posted by Hello


Our first glimpse of Mount Santubong.
According to one version of the legend, the mountain was formed when mythical Princess Santubong was speared by her jealous sister, Princess Sejinjang. Falling over, she gave the mountain its distinctive profile, like a pregnant belly. According to the other version of this story, the two princesses lived in the heavenly kingdom Kayangan. The Crown Prince fell in love with both of them, but they refused to be joint wives. The King of Kayangan banished the princesses to earth, where they became Gunung Santubong and the nearby Gunung Seijinjang. Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Riverside Fashion Police

Flo-O life jackets are so IN darhling... those straw hats and wrap around scarves are sooooo passe! (From L-R: Sylvia, Jasmine, Gayle, Jeslyn... the great boat hunters - look, they caught one!) Posted by Hello

Bako... the journey begins

The trip to the Bako National Park, Sarawak begins at Pengkalan Bako... where travellers can hire their boats for the 30-minute river ride. Bookings for accommodation on park grounds should be made in Kuching itself if you want to avoid disappointment, or you could try your luck at the park Headquarters. While we were there, a couple were turned away as the place was full. It's RM40 by boat, 1 way. Posted by Hello

A Night Made for Witching

Ahhh, here's what I spoke about, the riverside at night. Calm black waters reflecting the hauntingly beautiful riverbanks... simply spectacular. Posted by Hello