What it means to be a free spirit.

I have often been called a free spirit and each time I have wondered upon its meaning. Sometimes it is said with a grimace and a frown, sometimes with wonder and curiosity, sometimes with approval and appreciation.

Questioning the person further, I am usually given explanations that vary from ‘happy go-lucky’ or ‘irresponsible’ to ‘liberated’ or ‘flower child’, and more.

What I do know for sure is that these people are not comparing me with “a shot of Chivas, served on the house”, no matter how much I would prefer being objectified as something that warms the body and bolsters a flagging spirit.

free spirit
n. One who is not restrained, as by convention or obligation; a nonconformist.
n. A person with a highly individual or unique attitude, lifestyle or imagination.

How would you like your Chivas served?
“You are a free spirit” is just a statement. Depending on how we want to swallow it, it can go down bitter or sweet.

In the Malaysian context – Asian values and general ‘conformity’ - would be the Coca-Cola mixer for my Chivas.

The Coca-Cola Treatment…
Applying the Coca-Cola treatment against personal preference can be similarly equated to:

• People marrying ‘pilihan keluarga’ despite being in love with someone else
• People not being allowed to marry outside the race
• Males being pushed into marriage to continue the family name

Which is all well and good if Coke was what you wanted in the first place.

The Coconut Juice Treatment…
And how many of you know someone who has understood all the wants and pressures of family & society – but chose to do the least popular thing anyway?

Either Way, You Mix It, You Drink It
Finally, how many are ALWAYS happy with their choices either way – and have no regrets? As far as I can see, there’s no precise way to predict a guaranteed result (result = happy or unhappy?) by living your life in a prescribed way.

Because Happiness is a Point of View, Just like Sin
Some people enjoy being martyrs. To all outward appearances they act like they are constantly placed on the sacrificial table, like it or not. They do things because they ‘HAVE’ to and will tell you, “I had no choice.” No choice? Really?

Some people enjoy being victims. To all outward appearances they have been made use of, abused and walked on. Their happiness is limited because they cannot get past what happened to them. Cannot? Or will not?

(And yet others would read the above and cast negative judgement on people who fit these descriptions, or on the author of these descriptions for trivializing their problems, or on themselves for seeming to fit one of these descriptions…)

Is It Even Possible To Make Bad Choices?
Hindsight is perfect. If you knew better, wouldn’t you have naturally made a better choice? Or are you suggesting that people make bad choices on purpose? But if it serves your purpose – how is that a bad choice?

Perhaps the answer lies in knowing your true purpose (what you tell yourself vs how you are lying to yourself) and in making certain that what you tell yourself is in agreement with what you truly believe you deserve & want for yourself.

Which do you choose first - The Bar or The Beverage?
Being happy can be a choice. Being happy can also be the result of a choice. Think about it.

Why All The Questions, And Damn You Now I’m Thirsty.
Why indeed.

In my humble opinion, it’s up to the individual to decide how to interpret the world, place value on all the things in it, and make choices that align with these values.

Things, thoughts, people, places… they change every second. Every tap on my keyboard influences the next. My view of this blogpost may change after a good night’s rest and a hearty fiber filled breakfast tomorrow.

The drink I had the very first time I got drunk at 17, has something to do with what I choose to drink today. The bar I went to last month, alters my level of satisfaction with the bars I used to go to before that, and the bars I choose to patronize now, and therefore the people I would meet, the connections I might make, the business deals I might clinch as a result... the chain of cause and effect is endless and if you really want to find the root of all blame... it starts with the big bang, or God... depending on your religion. Which basically means - why do anything? When what's about to happen to us has already been decided upon even before we were born.

Or, we can take the reigns by taking accountibility for everything that happens to us - as a result of the choices we make... and thereby, be granted the gift of being able to make new choices next time.

Every choice is individualistic in nature – it either happens to conform, or it doesn’t. And things change, even after the choice has been made.

What it means to ME be to be called a Free Spirit…
Like delightful shots of Chivas, served on the house…

…I can warm the body & bolster a flagging spirit, inspire passion and good humour while allowing you the freedom & space to be melancholy if that is your wish…
… Make you feel good even if you have done something bad, because good people have been known to occasionally do bad things…
…Leave you with enough courage to see you through something more than you would have had the courage to do before me, and surround you with a blanket of security however fleeting it may be…
… Help you to understand that you already have all the answers, the only problem is remembering it and sobering up enough to act upon them…
…Yet have the ability to floor you with my potency, become disillusioned with seemingly false promises, and generally leave you with a bad taste in your mouth and a headache after all the fun has been had…

… Sometimes… and sometimes not… but either way…

Thanks for the compliment.


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