I am addicted to Chuck Norris like a druggie addicted to smack. I'll alienate my friends. I'll find any way possible to inject a dose of him into conversation. But on the upside, at least I won't have to worry about radiation breath or that starved skeleton look.
Come to think of it, Chuck Norris is actually handy to have around. He's like a tampon. Not something you want to flash around in public too often, but handy for a quick fix - and customisable for other things too.
Example.
1) A tampon you can use to plug a bleed. Chuck Norris you use to cause a bleed.
2) A tampon applicator you can use to launch spitballs from. Either one of Chuck Norris' legs could be used to launch children into the sun.
3) A tampon can also be used as a prophylactic - if a woman's all plugged up, there's usually not enough crawl space in there for an ant let alone a Kielbasa sausage. No sex means no STD. Chuck Norris himself IS a prophylactic, simply because any woman he has sex with won't survive the experience... so there's really no reason to worry about disease. And at any rate, there's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris, so why worry.
People. Chuck Norris is simply a Fact of Life. Like the Grim Reaper, the IRS, and China. We can all run now. But sometime soon, he's gonna catch up with us... and he's gonna hump us - literally or figuratively.
But probably both.
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omg u got chucky cravings
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