Life Through the Bottom of a Coffee Cup

Let me say a few things about my tall Java Chip Frap. It's from Starbucks. And what it is, is 12 fluid ounces (or 354 ml) of AWESOMENESS in a disposable but environmentally unfriendly plastic cup.

"Starbucks coffee & chocolatey coffee biscuits blended together and topped with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle."

On days like today - a lazy Sunday for others, a working day for me - I need the coffee to clear the cobwebs from my mind. Or so I tell myself. Then I find this...

This is the web of your spider next door.
Just your regular spider, you know - good school grades, doesn't mix with the wrong crowd, his strongest beverage so far is probably lizard blood on the rocks.




THIS is the web of the 'bad-boy' spider who proooobably gave himself a shot of caffeine right before his photo shoot . To calm his nerves so he can perform, you know how it is.

*blink* *blink* *slurrrp*


These pictures perfectly depict my mind on coffee too. Linear one minute. Completely fucking derailed the next.

Wikipedia says:
"In humans, caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant, having the effect of temporarily warding off drowsiness and restoring alertness."

Wikipdeia means:
When you drink coffee, you will experience the Window of Weirdness. A moment when your nerves get shot to shit and you freakin' bounce off the walls. Cousin Capes can tell you all about this.

But what's really scary is "CaffeineTolerance" and the resulting"Caffeine Crash." Which basically means, once you start drinking coffee - you bloody hell better not stop.

*warning: derailment*

MEN! Win Your Woman!

All you need to do is simply take part
in this 3-step experiment
and you could WIN the heart of your whiny-assed girlfriend
who complains you just don't 'get' her.

Step 1: Go on a coffee binge for a week.
Step 2: Stop.
Step 3: Stop, damit.

Within 48 hours, you will undergo a miraculous transformation and receive a brand new set of Coffee Goggles (TM). The headaches, irritability and stomach cramps will only be overshadowed by your sudden desire to watch Oprah! With your girlfriend.

So don't wait! Try it today and tell us how it goes.